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Someone who knows her family may see her. But she's sure she won't be recognised, because when she goes to meet her girlfriend, she removes the hijab she wears at home.

Nella was 17 years old when she fell in love with a girl for the first time. They met through sport — something Nella had been passionate about since she was a young girl.

She was from a conservative Muslim family. Dating was not an option, let alone with a woman. Nella was born in the city of Bujumbura, the capital of Burundi.

The country, which is one of the world's poorest, is located in the African Great Lakes region. It has struggled to gain stability since the end of a civil war in , and when it does hit the international headlines, it's mainly this image that is portrayed.

When she was a teenager, Nella dreamed of going to university. But her family were constantly urging her to get married.

They would introduce her to members of the extended family, in the hope they could find a match. When her parents died, Nella's brothers increased the pressure.

There was no money for an education, they said, and besides they didn't believe a woman needed one. They knew of a rich man who was interested in her.

There was little time to lose, they insisted. At 20 she was getting on a bit. As a woman from a country like hers, Nella says her rights were already diminished.

The couple barely communicated and she dreaded intimacy. After the birth of her youngest child, Nella says she began to feel like the most isolated woman in the world.

She doesn't want to go into much detail about her marriage. She turned to social media and carried out searches for women who like women.

Suddenly, she realised she was not alone. What she discovered was that there is a shorthand, a secret code, that local lesbian women use to reach out to each other.

It largely relies on internet shorthand, obscure symbols used by lesbians around the world. Nella would send these images and emoticons to other women.

Those in the know would respond. Buoyed by what she found, Nella began connecting with women online. Women like her. Women who soon became her closest friends.

In , her husband found out about these conversations and her marriage broke down. He vowed to keep her sexuality a secret from the wider community for the sake of their children.

We are just one part of it. She was brought up by strict parents in a suburban neighbourhood of Bujumbura. She and her siblings had to be home earlier than their friends.

Niya had to dress conservatively and was expected to act in a demure way. Niya preferred friendships with boys but these never developed into crushes.

At 14, she became a Christian. Thinking that part of her faith meant that she should avoid dating, she put her lack of romantic interest in boys down to a commitment to God.

At 22, she met a woman who was also in her early 20s, through mutual friends. Bonding over their love of music, they formed a fast friendship.

Back at home, thinking about what had happened, Niya realised that she had feelings for her friend. The pair began to date in secret. It had nothing to do with religion.

Two years later, Niya felt she had to tell one person in her immediate family. She chose one of her brothers. She had looked up YouTube videos of lesbian vloggers in other parts of the world.

She watched films featuring same-sex couples and read a lot of reports on lesbian, bisexual and queer LBQ communities. She began to understand the language of the internet.

The BBC messaged Niya to tell her that we would be using images of a violet to illustrate the memes. We chose the symbol - which differs vastly from the symbols the women use - because lesbian women in the s were said to give violets to their girlfriends.

Watching the YouTube videos had confirmed to Niya that she was not alone. But where were the other gay women in Burundi?

Leila had grown up in a loving, supportive middle-class family in Bujumbura city. She was popular. She had a boyfriend. After months of thinking about her continuously, she needed to share her feelings.

Leila texted the friend. The two agreed to draw a line under the embarrassing episode. Relieved, Leila put her months of infatuation down to a phase.

It had been a one-off crush, with one woman. I cried. We convinced ourselves it was a phase. I said I would. So I dumped him and started dating a cute guy.

But when he looked at her quizzically, she says the full realisation of who she is hit her. I am a lesbian, Leila told herself.

But she still hoped there would be a way out of it. She prayed. She meditated. She became angry with herself. You have the moment when you realise that there is no going back.

This is you. You are gay. Your plans and expectations for what you thought life would be need to adjust. Then there is the second coming out, the public coming out, to the people around you.

When she came out to herself, Leila began to look for other gay people. She doubted there would be women like her in Burundi, but she searched videos on Facebook and YouTube seeking lesbians in other countries.

Initially her mother took it badly. But as the days passed she began to ask more questions. The family agreed that as a lesbian woman in Burundi, Leila was already in a vulnerable position.

They could protect her while she was in the family home, but they could not guarantee her safety outside if the wrong people found out.

There was a shorthand, a recognition. You become an expert in body language, eye contact. A meme we may have picked up from somewhere else, or a coded phrase.

Nothing that anyone else outside the lesbian community would ever be able to pick up on. These accessories may be rainbow bracelets or even rings.

She is technically saying who she is without making a statement. They also have a preference for Chuck Taylor sneakers, ties, and wearing their pants low just like the guys do.

Via medium. No adult woman should have regular sleepovers with her girlfriends. If your girlfriend is sleeping over regularly with her girlfriends, you may never think that anything is wrong with it, but there are so many things that are wrong with it.

She may be using the sleepover as a way to sleep with her lesbian friends and you will be none the wiser. After the sleepover, she acts normal and as though nothing happened.

A good excuse for a girl to cheat on her boyfriend with her girlfriend is just to have an innocent sleepover. Via intothegloss.

Like clothing, a hairstyle could tell so much about a person. Some hairstyles are worn mostly by lesbian women. Mohawks tend to be a favorite hairstyle of lesbians.

Lesbians prefer short haircuts, so every female sporting a short haircut comes across as being suspicious.

It is something that guys usually do. So, if she has a military cut or a cut that a guy will wear and too much hair gel, it is likely that she is a lesbian.

Another sign is that she may have pretty-boy haircuts or wear bobs. These cuts are usually paired with her lesbian clothing. Just note that some models are expected to sport these hairstyles for their fashion shows and they may be straight.

Via viewsonfilm. If she refers to her boyfriend as her partner, then she is probably gay. Usually, girls are eager to say their boyfriend or their man.

They barely use partner to refer to a heterosexual relationship. If she is hiding the fact that she is a lesbian, some of the terminology may slip now and then.

It is unlikely that you will find any woman under forty using this term to refer to her significant other. Homosexuals usually use the term partner, because in some states and countries, gay marriages are illegal, and partner seems to be the more socially acceptable term than referring to someone as your boyfriend or your girlfriend.

Via twitter. There is a good reason behind speculating that lesbians have short fingernails. Now that you are informed, it is highly unlikely that she is going to have long nails because they can be uncomfortable for her partner.

Some females may have short nails because they are professional athletes and refuse to injure their teammates or because they are musicians and long nails make it uncomfortable to play an instrument.

So, whilst straight girls get glammed up and go to the salon to get their nails done, you are unlikely to ever see a lesbian getting her nails done.

Via anothergaze. Lesbians do not have these crushes but they have girl crushes. If she is secretly a lesbian, she probably had pictures of powerful female celebrities on her walls and would have told her parents that they were her role models.

She was never going to admit to them that she had a crush. Girls with female crushes may just hint that if they were lesbians, they would want to be with Blake Lively, Angelina Jolie or even Scarlett Johansson.

Via thefilmstage. With gays, you can easily tell, but lesbians can be a bit subtler. You should observe how she walks and how she sits. If she sits with her legs spread or walks similar to how a guy will, then she is probably a lesbian or a girl who had too many brothers and male influences in her life growing up.

Some lesbians tend to want to hide the fact that they are indeed female by hiding their bust area or wearing clothes to minimize it.

A lesbian may also stare at you longer than usual and lick her lips while she is talking to you. She may also be a bit too close for comfort and in your personal space.

A closeted lesbian may have a few friends that she is possessive of. She does not want them to have other friends and she does not like them talking to men.

If you have a girlfriend and she is super possessive of her friends or gets jealous easily when they do things without including her, those friends that she seems possessive and protective of can actually be her girlfriend who is posing as her best friend.

They may have their reasons for carrying on a secret relationship and involving an unsuspecting male. But if you have a girlfriend and she gets more jealous of her female friends than she gets with you, she may be secretly homosexual.

Even if you have a female friend who seems too jealous and too possessive, she may be a lesbian. Via afterellen.

If she talks like a lesbian, then maybe she is a lesbian. Does she talk about other lesbians or shows that have lesbian characters? Well, most females do, but if she talks like she could relate to those characters, then she is definitely a lesbian.

Some lesbians may also be considered man haters and have a lot of negative things to say about men.

A lot of females may have negative things to say about men, but they still find a way to sleep with them. With lesbians, there is no forgiveness and some of their man related conversations, often come across as very hateful.

Via youtube. A girl may obviously not be a virgin and not religious, but no one has witnessed her hooking up with men.

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